There is nothing permanent in this world but change. It really is, everything will soon come to an end, in due time. But how does one accept the fact that losing a family member is the reality that we cannot elude.

Grandma passed away on her 76th birthday. And sad as it may be, we all have to accept that the grandma we used to visit yearly on Christmas, New Year and town fiesta will no longer be there on all the occasions to come. Grandma raised me for 8 years and being the first grandchild, I am the most affected among all of them. She used to wake me up every morning and prepare my needs before going to school. She used to clean my legs with i don't know what to remove the dirt coming from my explorations in the farm or in the forest (yes, I lived in the province once upon a time). She used to scold me for not taking a bath because the water was too cold. I can still remember when I used to escape from the house whenever I knew my mom would come for I am afraid they'd bring me with them. It took a couple of years before I was finally convinced that I should leave the province and be with my family. Grandma and grandpa were my first parents.

When she left for good on the day of her birthday, it was painful. But no matter how painful losing her is, nothing can compare to the pain she felt during her last days of suffering that one would just really pray for her to rest peacefully to ease it. And I did for I can no longer bear to see her like that.

Accepting that a loved one has passed away may not be easy at times and of course it varies from person to person. As for me, the best way is to pray, open up your heart and let go. My ties with grandma may not be as strong as her ties with her children but I have loved her, from the bottom of my heart and letting go is the best way I know.

And to you lola, you will always remain in our hearts forever. We will surely miss you. Thank you for everything - goodbye....