When our twins was born, it was the most wonderful day for the entire family. Both my parents and my in-laws are excited to see them. On our side, they are the first grandchildren of my parents. At my in-laws, they are both the first grandchildren and the only twins in history. Yeah, in our genes, we have history of multiple births so this is not the first time.
Since they were born prematurely, they had to stay in the hospital for a month to gain weight but luckily, they both survived---- healthy. I haven't thought then that parenting will be just as hard. My kids were not cry babies when they are young but I have to stay awake most of the time to feed them every 2 hours. They left the hospital at 2kgs so I need to maintain their weight and make sure they are fed on time.
As I reflect on my husband's and my personality, we are both sure that we will become good parents. That we will live by example and that we will not be like other parents who spoil their children resulting to misbehavior and all other things. But as the children grow, we've learned that parenting is not just as simple as ABC. One can never have a crash course to be a good parent. And one cannot be so sure of what their children will become, especially if the parent is not beside the child 100% of their growing up years.
Leaving the kids to my parents everyday to go to work has greatly contributed to what they are now. The grandparents (I mean my parents) are my real enemy when it comes to rearing the kids for they think they know better. They don't want them to cry so they give them almost everything, which we haven't experienced ourselves when we were young, I wonder. And my ways of disciplining my children is a no no to them. So how's our everyday battle? Go figure.
We realized then, that we've both become nags. Shouting and yelling has become natural inside the house and I am not liking it. I know for a fact that it will surely become a habit of the children, too. And I was not mistaken. One day I heard Scieszka mimicking his dad's angry voice and Elysia mimicking my angry acts. I couldn't laugh at all simply because this is a serious matter that we need to resolve immediately.
I read a couple of books, online topics and magazines to see if I can find some help. I cannot do this alone. While checking on the book "Discipline Your Child Without Shouting and Spanking", I saw that there are so many behaviors of children that we have to consider. Discipline, is not merely a word but an act of doing what you want your child to do. It covers several topics which cannot be discussed in a single article. To become a good parent is not easy but for us to raise children with proper attitude and behavior, we are willing to learn. From friends, from our parents and from other parents.
Each of the stages in our children's lives are important and they learn with us as we learn from them. While I have been doing my share of learning on becoming a good mom to my kids even if I only have a few hours a day to spend with them now that I am working, I realized that I still haven't grown. I just become a mom but not yet a parent. And that I have to work on.