When our twins was born, it was the most wonderful day for the entire family. Both my parents and my in-laws are excited to see them. On our side, they are the first grandchildren of my parents. At my in-laws, they are both the first grandchildren and the only twins in history. Yeah, in our genes, we have history of multiple births so this is not the first time.
Since they were born prematurely, they had to stay in the hospital for a month to gain weight but luckily, they both survived---- healthy. I haven't thought then that parenting will be just as hard. My kids were not cry babies when they are young but I have to stay awake most of the time to feed them every 2 hours. They left the hospital at 2kgs so I need to maintain their weight and make sure they are fed on time.
As I reflect on my husband's and my personality, we are both sure that we will become good parents. That we will live by example and that we will not be like other parents who spoil their children resulting to misbehavior and all other things. But as the children grow, we've learned that parenting is not just as simple as ABC. One can never have a crash course to be a good parent. And one cannot be so sure of what their children will become, especially if the parent is not beside the child 100% of their growing up years.
Leaving the kids to my parents everyday to go to work has greatly contributed to what they are now. The grandparents (I mean my parents) are my real enemy when it comes to rearing the kids for they think they know better. They don't want them to cry so they give them almost everything, which we haven't experienced ourselves when we were young, I wonder. And my ways of disciplining my children is a no no to them. So how's our everyday battle? Go figure.
We realized then, that we've both become nags. Shouting and yelling has become natural inside the house and I am not liking it. I know for a fact that it will surely become a habit of the children, too. And I was not mistaken. One day I heard Scieszka mimicking his dad's angry voice and Elysia mimicking my angry acts. I couldn't laugh at all simply because this is a serious matter that we need to resolve immediately.
I read a couple of books, online topics and magazines to see if I can find some help. I cannot do this alone. While checking on the book "Discipline Your Child Without Shouting and Spanking", I saw that there are so many behaviors of children that we have to consider. Discipline, is not merely a word but an act of doing what you want your child to do. It covers several topics which cannot be discussed in a single article. To become a good parent is not easy but for us to raise children with proper attitude and behavior, we are willing to learn. From friends, from our parents and from other parents.
Each of the stages in our children's lives are important and they learn with us as we learn from them. While I have been doing my share of learning on becoming a good mom to my kids even if I only have a few hours a day to spend with them now that I am working, I realized that I still haven't grown. I just become a mom but not yet a parent. And that I have to work on.
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Firstly, congratulation for being a mother. As for the being the ideal parent, one has to go through trial and error. I'm not yet a parent but definitely contented with the well my parents brought me up.
There is saying, "Spare the rod and spoil the child." but I guess this wouldn't works with children nowadays, especially with the overdosing parental loves...in the end there no perfect solutions, just like two side of a coin.
You guys will be a perfect example for sure.... Ikaw sa kakikayan si igan sa music talent...hee hee!
Parenting is a lot of work. It isn't easy. Unfortunately babies do not come with handbooks. But I'm sure you are wonderful parents!
your surname is de leon? where does your clan hail from?
@lob eng
thank you for the wonderful comment. i am glad you are happy the way your parents brought you up. thanks for the visit
@aline
hehe oo nga...they are really terrible 3 now super kikay and loves to sing (in correct notes, huh!). very flattering for us. thanks
@cascia
it sure is a lot of work..very challenging. thank you for the kind words you said. thanks for visiting ^_^
@maggie
thanks for visiting. we're from rizal...^_^
my maiden name is also de leon but my pop hailed from bulacan. but we do have relatives in rizal, thanks for taking time to answer my question, i just got curious when i saw the surname written below the pics of your twins.
hello..just wanna say.. mother is the greatest gift to all kids.. such as us... we have the hardest tasks upon our shoulders..each day we may moan and groan but deep inside our hearts, we r still willing to suffer for our kids... :)
"I just become a mom but not yet a parent. And that I have to work on."
What an insight, Mye. You may have lots of things to work on as a parent, but I can safely say you're getting there. That instant flash of recognition and self-awareness will serve you in good stead.
Thoughtful post. Love it.
@maggie
you do have relatives in rizal? what a coincidence but de leon is a big clan in rizal - who knows? ^_^
@reanaclaire
very well said. despite the hardships, we really are still willing to suffer for them. thanks for visiting.
@jan
i am happy you liked the post ^_^ and thank you for the kind words.
Oh twins. Me too, I still have a lot to learn on child disciple. My only kid is growing up and she's needs such guidance already.
I have the same concerns, my way of discipling the kids is often questioned by my own parents. Like you I had become hot tempered to my kid - at times. I had to remind myself not to be that kind of parent.
@gem
yeah, i think it happens to almost all parents. thank you for dropping by ^_^